Karaoke Revenge!
by Awesa-mazin-licious
Summary: Alice invites everone Bella and the Cullens know to a Karaoke party! What will happen? Read and find out! Chapter twelve FINALY up! Sorry it took so long, but, ya know, school just started, so what can ya do? Changed the rating too.
1. How to Stop an Exploding Man

**A/N - Ok so here is one for all of you Karaoke lovers. I changed it because people were noticing my switching-of-the-POV-halfway-through-the-storyness. Hope you like!**

**Bella's POV**

So there I was watching the season premier of _Heroes _(**long-live Peter Pettrelli!!!**), when Alice bounces in with a Karaoke machine and gasp makes me miss the ending by jumping in front of The Shiny Box Of Bliss!

I got on my knees, shook my fists at the heavens and screamed, "WHY?!?!?" as loud as I could. Alice just look at me as if all of my sanity had flown out of the window and finally asked, "Ya done?"

I composed myself and sat on the couch and asked Alice in a strangled voice, "Yes? Why have you disturbed me from my fave show Alice?" Alice just jumped up and down laughing and giggled out "ifoundakaraokemachineandiwaswonderinghowyourevoicesoundedsoikindainvitedeveryoneweknowtoaparty!!!" I blikned rapidly and asked her to repeat the sentance slower and when she did I passed out.

I came to with my Edwards lips pressed against mine. When he saw my eyes flutter open he pulled away and muttered something about CPR before setting me in his lap.

"So let me get this striaght Alice. You Invited EVERYONE we KNOW to a KARAOKE PARTY?" I asked, outraged.

"Yep! Isnt It great?" She hopped up and down several more times and Edward joined her. They seemed to realize I hadnt joined them after a few minutes. "What's wrong?" asked Edward. "Don't you _adore_ karaoke Bella?" He batted his eyelashes at me,which would have been disturbing if anyone but him had done it. When Edward did it, my heart skipped a beat.

"Edward, I dispise Karaoke! It is the most horrible game ever!" Emmett appeared, and had apparently over heard the conversation. He glared at me. "I suppose you don't like apple pie, or puppies, or your _mama_!" Emmett spat at me with disgust. He then pursed his lips, snapped his fingers in a Z-formation, and said, "Un-A-merican!"

Edward looked at me as though he agreed with Emmett, but instead he said, "Bella what have you against Karaoke? It is the cornacopia of all that is good in life!" I flung myself onto the couch dramaticly burring my face into the crook of my arm, and sobbed. "Edward the t-truth is, I c-can't... _sing. _There. N-now you know. I'm a m-monster!" Edward came over to comfert me.

"There, there. It can't be that bad. We'll save you for the Last act ok?" There was no way I could dissagree with Edward. "Ok" I sniffed.

Then the doorbell rang.

**_A/N - What will happen? Will Bella sing? Does she really suck? Did Peter Petrelli blow up? Sorry it's so short! There is more to come! Review and find out! I need 10 reviews before I post next chapter!_**


	2. Jazzy is Fine!

_**A/N - Ok I know I said I wanted 10 reviews, but I REALLY want to post this chapter!!! Hope you like it!!! Review even if you don't!!**_

**_DISCLAIMER : I do not own any of the Twilight, or any of thier charactors. Sniff_**

_Last time on, KaRaOkE NiGhTmArE:_

_Bella admits she can't sing, Edward comforts her, and then the doorbell rings._

_**BPOV**_

Oh no. They can't be here that fast. Can they? I was totaly freaking out when Jazzy zipped down the stairs and to the door. I shivered closer to Edward hoping against hope that I wouldn't have to sing. Jazzy opened the door

"Did someone under the name of cullen order 124 Large cheese pizzas?" A kid with acne problems was at the door with a stack of pizza tottering in his arms. I let out a sigh, glad I had time to prepare things before everyone got here. Jasper and Emmett brought in all of the pizza's in the blink of and eye, while Edward pulled out a wad of cash and peeled off a few hundreds.

"124 pizza's?" I asked incredulesly, wiggling my eyebrows at him. He shrugged sheepishly. "I think it's a nice round number" he replied with that crooked smile of his. I didn't get to enjoy his smile for long, however, because Alice popped up out of nowhere and said, "COME ON Bella, we have to get dressed for this kind of a party!!" She hopped in place a few times, then jabbed me in the leg with a tranquilizer and dragged me upstairs for what no doubt would be a painful session of beautifying.

_**EPOV**_

I watched a tranquilized Bella get pulled up the stairs, and was about to go save her when I heard a very Carlisle-ish shriek. "OMC!! Edward what is all of this? Are you telling me you were going to throw a karaoke party...and not invite me?" Carlisle hopped up and down a few times giggleing. I hopped with him, till we both remembered we were macho men and stood akwardly for a few minutes. That was when Rose walked in, trailing some very dazed construction men, whom she dazzled into building a stage for us. When it was done, Emmett proceded to throw the men forcably out of the house, and afterwards sit on the couch making out with Rose. As I dropped to the floor, having a seizure from watching the makeout scene, Bella walked down the stairs. I passed out.

_**BPOV **_

I walked down the stairs (miraculesly with out tripping) expecting edward to exclaim about how beautiful I was, but instead he gave me a horrified look, yelped like a strangled cat, and passed out. I was dumbstruck, to say the least. Everyone in the room stared at me as if I was some horrible monster. I glared at Alice.

"What did you do to me?" Alice just rubbed her hands together and laughed like a crazy person. I ran into her room and looked in the full-length mirror, terrified. I was wearing the tightest Black jeans, with rips in them everywhere. Then I was wearing a black fishnet top, and underneath a hot pink bra. For makeup I had on TONS of eyeliner and hot pink eyeshadow and black lipstick. But that wasnt the worst. My hair was parcticly all gone and died black. on the sides and back it was a buzz cut and on top there were gelled spikes with, you guessed it, hot pink tips.

I screamed, horrified, and then turned around to see alice laughing like a crazy person again. "What the hell Alice!! Why would you do this to me?" Alice just gave me an evil glare and stuck her hand on the back of her head, pulling down a zipper and out stepped... Jess!

**_JPOV_**

MUAHAHA! Did I just do an evil laugh in my head? Note to self: Cut it out you you will soon be speaking in third person, my prescious. I had finaly made Bella look horrific, and now Edward would be mine, all mine!! I shot bella with another of those handy tranquilizers, and then locked her in the closet. I ran downstairs and instead of seeing Edward waiting on the couch for a hallmark moment between the two of us, I saw himleaning against a wall, looking totaly different.

His hair was diead black and styled into an emo hair flip. He was wearing lots of eyeliner and black cargo pants. He also had on a Very Tight Green Day shirt. I was stunned.

" Jess, how did you get here? Never mind. Have you seen Bella? I have to tell her something." OMC!! He was still obsessing over that stupid Swan girl!? I was so over him!

"Edward Antony Mason Cullen, We Are OVER!" On the way storming out of the house, I caught sight of Jasper. Day-um, that boy is fine! " Call me sugar" I said, and promptly left.

_**JazzyPOV**_

Ew gross did that girl just call me sugar? Edward sniggered and said, " She thinks you are fine." I gagged. Then The REAL Alice walked through the doors and said, "I got outfits for everyone for the party!!"

Carlisle let out a girlish scream.

_**A/N - So, how was it? Please review people, it's how I get my kicks. And if you have a song request for people, please tell me, because EVERYONE they know is gonna be there.**_


	3. Move That Bus!

_**A/N - Thanks for the reviews you Beautiful people!! I have been getting yelled at by my bestie and my sis (flyingXfree) so I must mention I could not have done this with out them!! I don't know where this story is going, so prepare for some randomness!**_

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight . Oh well. _**

_Last time on KaRaOkE NiGhTmArE:_

_Carlisle let out a girlish scream._

_**Narrators POV**_

Alice hopped up and down several times and then set down her shopping bags.

"Isn't this just fabules? Everyone will have their own thang to wear! We will all stun them! YAY!! I can read the future so I know what your songs will be! That mean you will each have the perfect thing to wear! HOORAY!! Now let me pass out the outfits!!"

She started with the most excited, Carlisle! He got a very snazzy suit, something that a Baron would wear. Then Esme got a Long red sparkly red dress with a matching elaborate hat and VERY high heels. Aparently they were singing together.

Jasper got a pimp outfit, which Alice handed him icily. She glared daggers at him, then shook her head as if he was a lost case. Edward sniggered, he knew the reason_. Man_ Jazzy was dumb sometimes. His song was WAY insulting to Alice.

Emmett had pimp outfit simaler to Jaspers, and Rosealie had a slutty short blue dress with ripmarks in all teh right places (or all the wrong places, depending on how ya look at it).

Alice giggled and hopped up and down. "I'm saving Edward's for right before he sings!! I want it to be a surprise! And _this_", she said with a flourish, "is MY outfit!! YAY!!" Alice pulled out a super tiny black leather leotard with black tights and black Ballerina-toe shoes. And a black umbrella.

By this time everyone else was in their clothes. Even alice. She looked around, confused. "Hey where is Bella?"

Oops. Looks like I forgaot about Bella in all of the excitement, thought Edward. Carlisle spoke to Edward as if repremanding a little boy.

"Eddie, what have I told you about keeping your eye on Bella? This Is why we can't have pets. And the reason that we are blood-sucking-fasion-model-vampires. But thats beside the point."

Edward put his thumbs in his ears wiggled his fingers and stuck his tongue out at his father. "I hate you Dad! I eat one puppy and you wont let it go will you? It's been 50 years! Get over it!"

Esme tapped he red super-high-heel on the floor impaitently. "Aren't we supposd to be looking for Bella?

Everyone started running around franticly. Except Alice, who went upstairs to her room so she could put away some outfits she had bought for herself.

She opened her closet, stepped over the unconcious Bella, and put up her highly expensive clothes. She then sashayed down the stiars and into the living room, where Edward was on his knees shaking his fists at the ceiling screaming, "**_Why must you mock me?!?!?_**"

Alice thought to her self. _Hmm... thats the second time someone's done that today. Oh yeah Bella did it. Speaking of Bella, she's unconcious in my closet. Oh well. _

Edward read her thoughts and zoomed upstairs in an Emo flash. He draged Bella's unconcious form from the highly fasionable closet and set it down in the couch in his room. Edward then whisper their secret password that they had created in case one of them had gotten shot with a tranquilizer and needed to wake up.

Bella jerked awake and sat bolt upright. She rammed so hard into edwad's sculpted body though, that she was knocked unconcious all over again. Edward laughed repeated the pasword, and this time dodged out of the way when Bella shot up. Then they were all over each other like an emo x-rated movie. After five minutes of being reunited, Blla noticed Edwrds attire.

"Aww Edward! You changed for me? That is the swetest thing ever!!" Then they spent severel more entangled minutes before Edward said,

"Seriously though, you need a makeover. I can pull off the emo look, but you look hideous. From the neck up anyway."

Alice popped up out of nowhere, dressed up likethe hostof Extreme home makeover. " Did I hear some one say makeover? Leave it to me!! I will get you dressed up like the song you will sing karaoke style!"

Bella was then whisked away to the magickal land of prettieness.

_**A/N - You didn't really think I would let bella stay emo did you? Now on with the story!**_

_30 minutes later_

All of the Cullens were gathered out on the front lawn of their household standing in front of a very tackey bus.

"Now, it took some serious work, 'cuz bella doesn't have any natural beuty, but I think we got her looking haalf-way decent. Edward Cullen, get ready to meet your improved girlriend." said Alice in that cheery voice of hers.

Then everyone started yelling, "_Move that Bus_!!" (although Esme was close to tears because the bus was ruining her lawn so she had been yelling _Move that bus_ for some time now).

The bus moved and there stood bella, hair restored to it's former glory and wearing some very Fergie-style clothes. She now looked like she deserved to have a vampire boyfriend (although we all know that she doesen't).

Edward and Bella ran in slow motion towards each other, and then united in a tear jerking embrace. "Wow you actually look nice now" Edward exclaimed, and she didnt know weather to be insulted or complimented. Before she could answer, about a million cars pulled onto the lawn, and Esme burst into tears again.

The party had begun.

_**A/N - Ok peeps, R&R. And to all of the people adding me to fave stories/authers/ect., thank you tons but please review as well! Tell me how to make the story better, or just flame. As long as it's a review!**_


	4. Disgusting Dentchers

_**A/N - So here we finally are! The party is going to start! Songs I am NOT doing because they have been used way too much are as follows: Hungry like the wolf, Barbie girl. Thank you. Now read like the wind!**_

_**WARNING! There are Harry Potter 7 spoilers in here people!**_

_Last time on KaRaOkE NiGhTmArE:_

_Bella was beautifyed, and Esme cried._

**BPOV**

Holy crow!!Do we really know this many people? Esme's lawn was over flowing with every type of car imaginable! And more than one of them was a sports car. Uh-oh. That means Vampires.

I looked at Edward. aparently he was thinking along the same lines as me. "Um.. Alice? You didn't invite any... non-vegetarians... did you?"

Alice's face would have turned white... if she wasn't a vampire of course. "He he.. of course not Edward.. erm.. be back in a few!" She dashed off and we could see her gather a large group of very hungry looking very beautiful people around her. She seemed to be explaining something to them, and about half left, looking sullen.

I sighed in relief. Edward slung me over his shoulder and carried me into the house so we could get front row seats. As I looked around I saw she really DID invite everyone we knew. Including...gulp... the Volturi. I Could see Aro looking very intrigued as he conversed with... double gulp ... Renee? Phil was standing not to far away giving Jane a lolipop.

Uh-oh. She looked majorly pissed. "Edward, intervantion please!!" I yelled, pointing towards Phil, who was about three seconds away from a very painful encounter with Jane's power. Edward ran between the two and ingaged Phil in baseball conversation, as Jane stomped off.

As Eddie-poo was talking to the step 'rent, Mike strode towards to me, looking like he was trying to look impressive. I gagged, he just looked like he was having a viloent case of gas.

"Bella, fancy meeting you here." I looked at him weirdly.

"Well It is my boyfriends house..." I replied. Then I noticed he was wearing a sherlock holms-y outfit, complete with pipe and plaid cap. OMC.

"Mike shouldn't you actually smoke the pipe?" I asked him. He looked embarressed.

"Oh yes, quite." he put in some tobacco and lit it with a match. Then he inhaled deeply. Too deeply. He inhaled the whole friggen pipe. He gagged, clutched his throught, and fell to the floor, writhing around. "C..gag...P...hack...R" He gasped

"Oops. Hey anyone here know CPR?" I asked lazily. I was hoping for everyone to say no, but the old lady from the front desk at FHS (forks high School) waddled up and gave him the hiemlick manuver, then set him on the ground and gave hum VERY explicit CPR. He became concious and then gagged.

He spit out a pair of dentchers. "Oops, sorry Mikey", said the old woman with a wink, then she replaced her DISGUSTING dentchers.

Then Alice jumped up on the stage and said into the mic, "Due to an NDE (Near Death Expierence) , Mike gets to go first!" She didn't do her costumary happy-hop, instead she gagged.

Mike tried to glide toward the stairs, but instead he tripped. Then he just walked up to the microphone and said into it in a raspy voice,

"Bella, this one's for you." He gave me a very saucey wink, and I looked around franticly for my edward. There he was, in a flash, by my side with his arms intwined around my waist. I let out a sigh, then covered my ears as my least favorite lyrics spilled out of Mike's mouth.

_I never felt nothing in the world like this before  
Now I'm missing you  
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door  
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know  
So now I'm all alone,  
Girl you could have stayed  
but you wouldn't give me a chance  
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand  
And all my tears they keep running down my face  
Why did you turn away?  
_

"OMC this is the most kreepy stalkerish song in the universe" I said to Edward.

He nodded his head with a frightened look on his face.

And don't even get me started on his dance moves. He was doing the air-hump, grinding on the mic stand, not to mention several random hip thrusts.

_It's been a long time since you called me  
(How could you forget about me)  
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)  
How can you walk away,  
Everything stays the same  
I just can't do it baby  
What will it take to make you come back  
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that  
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me  
Don't leave me crying._

I wanted to scream that the reason I didn't look at him is because his face is like road kill.

So baby I will wait for you  
Cause I don''t know what else i can do  
Don't tell me I ran out of time  
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you  
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true  
I really need you in my life  
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

As a matter of fact , I am VERY afraid of him. SEE ABOVE COMMENT ABOUT HIS FACE!

_Baby I will wait for you  
Baby I will wait for you  
If it's the last thing i do_

_I could hear Edward growling, and wondered if it would be the last thing he does. One can only hope.  
Baby I will wait for you  
Cause I don''t know what else i can do  
Don't tell me I ran out of time  
If it takes the rest of my life_

_Baby I will wait for you  
If you think I'm fine it just ain't true  
I really need you in my life  
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you_

_I'll Be Waiting._

**MPOV**

I jumped off the stairs and landed somewhat clumsily, but I could see the awed look on bella's face. Tears were gushing out of her eyes, and she was Smiling.

"So what do you think of my song Bella?"

She said "So very touching", and sniffed. I di a few more hip thrusts far a victory dance, and stuck my tongue out at Cullen.

"So, Bella-pie, waddaya say you dump the albino and I'll take to to the ice cream shop. Then maby later tonight I'll let you sing into my Mike-rophone." I wiggled my eyebrows at her and she looked at me confused.

"Wha..? Mike I was talking about Harry Potter seven. Harry didn't die! But Fred did. CURSE YOU J.K. ROWLING!" She got on her knees, shook her fists at the cieling, and screamed "WHY?!?!"

Then she said to me "I had to do something to keep my mind off your singing." I glared at Cullen, thrust my hip and yelled, "She will be mine!" Before running off into the night dramaticly to plot my revenge.

**EPOV**

I pulled Bella into my lap and whispered into her ear, "You sure you don't want to go sing into his... er... Mike-rophone? I won't blame you if you do. Those were some well placed hip-thrusts." I wiggled my eyebrows at her just as Newton had done.

She laughed and said "Edward you know I love you and your Emo-ness too much to ever leave you. No matter how many other men thrust their hips at me."

I sighed. That was the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to me. I kissed Bella passionatly.

Alice hopped up to the stage and announced, "The next up to sing is... Emmett And Rosealie! YAY!" She hopped around and then jumped off the stage.

I could only wonder what they would sing.

_**A/N - So waddaya think? I'll never know if you don't review... so review! I need a beta, as most of you can probably tell by my sloppy spelling. And show of hands, who else thinks Elliot Yamin is the missing link?**_


	5. Bella insults God

_**A/N - So, here is the infamous duo! Introducing, Emmett and Rosalie! Read and find out what they sing!**_

_Last time on, KaRaOkE NiGhTmArE:_

_Mike lusts while his hips thrust._

**BPOV**

Edward shifted me off his lap and back into my chair, so he could see the act.

"So Here they are!" Alice squeeled into the microphone. Then she stepped aside for Emmett in his pimp attire, and Rose in her, er, slutty, dress stepped onto the stage. Both the guys _and _the girls swooned, although each gender for a different person.

A very familliar tune started blasting through the huge speakers (that appeared out of no-where) and I grinned as I understood what their song would be.

_Rose: Am I throwin you off?  
Emmett:Nope  
Rose: Didn't think so_

Emmett: How you doin' young lady  
That feelin' that you givin' really drives me crazy  
You don't haveta play about the joke  
I was at a loss of words first time that we spoke

Rose: Looking for a girl that'll treat you right  
You lookin' for her in the day time with the light  
Emmett: You might be the type if I play my cards right  
I'll find out by the end of the night

Rose: You expect me to just let you hit it  
But will you still respect me if you get it

Emmett: All I can do is try, gimme one chance  
What's the problem I don't see no ring on your hand

I be the first to admit it, I'm curious about you, you seem so innocent

Rose: You wanna get in my world, get lost in it  
Boy I'm tired of running, lets walk for a minute

You could tell this was the best song for both of them. It described a LARGE part of their realtionship.

_Emmett: Promiscuous girl  
Wherever you are  
I'm all alone  
And it's you that I want_

Rose: Promiscuous boy  
You already know  
That I'm all yours  
What you waiting for?

Emmett: Promiscuous girl  
You're teasing me  
You know what I want  
And I got what you need

Rose: Promiscuous boy  
Let's get to the point  
Cause we're on a roll  
Are you ready?

Rose: Roses are red  
Some diamonds are blue  
Chivalry is dead  
But you're still kinda cute

Emmett: Hey! I can't keep my mind off you  
Where you at, do you mind if I come through

Rose: I'm out of this world come with me to my planet  
Get you on my level do you think that you can handle it?

Emmett: They call me Thomas  
last name Crown  
Recognize game  
I'm a lay mine's down

_Their dance moves were so racy, all I will say is it looked like vertical sex._

Rose: I'm a big girl I can handle myself  
But if I get lonely I'ma need your help  
Pay attention to me I don't talk for my health

Emmett: I want you on my team  
Rose: So does everybody else.

All the guys cheered at this in agreement. The girls were pleading for Emmett to get on their team, as well as throwing their bras on him. This was disgusting.

_Emett: Baby we can keep it on the low  
Let your guard down ain't nobody gotta know  
If you with it girl I know a place we can go_

Rose: What kind of girl do you take me for?

Emmett: Don't be mad, don't get mean  
Rose: Don't get mad, don't be mean

Emmett: Hey! Don't be mad, don't get mean  
Rose: Don't get mad, don't be mean

Emmett: Wait! I don't mean no harm  
I can see you with my t-shirt on

Rose: I can see you with nothing on  
feeling on me before you bring that on

Mike screamed like a teenage girl and then threw his bra at Rosalie. Wha...? I decided I didn't want to know.

_Emmett: Bring that on?  
Rose: You know what I mean_

Emmett: Girl, I'm a freak you shouldn't say those things

Rose: I'm only trying to get inside your brain  
To see if you can work me the way you say

Emmett: It's okay, it's alright  
I got something that you gon' like

Rose: Hey is that the truth or are you talking trash  
Is your game M.V.P. like Steve Nash

Emmett: Promiscuous Girl  
Wherever you are  
I'm all alone  
And its you that I want

Rose: Promiscuous Boy  
I'm calling your name  
But you're driving me crazy  
The way you're making me wait

Emmett: Promiscuous Girl  
You're teasing me  
You know what I want  
And I got what you need

Rose: Promiscuous Boy  
We're one in the same  
So we don't gotta play games no more

On the last note there was tons of cheering and also tons of not-so-happy-anymore-couples yelling at each other for loss of bra, or loss of pants. Either way, I thought it was a complete loss of dignity for the audiance, and the preformers.

Edward was going into convulsions, and I looked around and saw why. Several teachers had let themselves go as well. Including my former teacher, Mr. Banner. He had ripped off his pants and underneath was a tiny red speedo.

"He really needs a bikini wax", Jasper remarked as he sat down next to us. He calmed down Edward and gave him a lolipop.

"Mmm... cherry is my faveorite!" Edward exclaimed, and then proceded to lick the lolipop. Then he gagged, remembering he was a vampire a little too late.

"I mean, cherry _was_ my favorite." His face turned green, and he rushed off to the little vampires room.

"Well, you learn something new every day" I said to Jasper.

"And what did you learn Bella? That Mr.Banner should never take his pants off? That cherry is the worst flavor of lollipop? That EMCsquared?"

"I looked at him and replied, "That vampires could regurgitate. Interesting fact." We heard retching sounds from the little vampire's room and Jasper hurried off to help his brother. I looked at his backside and though to myself, _Jessica has a point...he is fine. As a matter of fact a little better looking than Edwa- AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! _

**Narrators POV**

Interruption into the story. As some of you may have guessed, God (AKA Carlisle) struck Bella down with a bolt of lightning for even considering that ANYONE could better than Edward in any way, shape, or form. Then he sent an angry mob of fanfic adolecent girls (AKA, US!) with pitchforks and torches to trample her. And burn her. And pitchfork her.

Then Alice showed up, took pity on her(since she is in love with Jazzy also), and gave her another mini-makeover.

A minute later, Edward came out of the bathroom and sat down next to Bella (AKA the traitor!) not knowing any of what had happened in the past seven minutes.

**EPOV**

I sat down next to my Bella and put my arm around her. I leaned in to inhale he wonderful aroma and instead I could only smell...

"Is it just me or do you smell like burnt hair?"

Bella looked at me nervously and then stuttered, "N-no Eddy-kins, thats just Alice's new perfume. Eu de Burt Folacle. Heh heh..." I was getting suspicious when Alice jumped up on the stage and started talking nervously into the mic.

"Ok, next up is everyone's favorite couple, mom and dad of the year, Esme and Carlisle!" She did some more happy-hops and then got off the stage.

_What will my parents sing_, I wondered to myself.

**_A/N - Was it good? I know, I know, I didn't punish Bella enough for that blastphemy. But, what can I say? I'm a forgiving person. Review please!_**


	6. Overripe apples and Edward's revenge!

**_A/N - Ok this one is sorta all over the place, so pay close attention. I hope you like it!_**

**_Disclaimer: I never have and never will own Twilight, Chitty-chitty Bang-Bang, or Germany._**

_Last time on KaRaOkE NiGhTmArE:_

_Edward forgets, Bella gets hit_

**EPOV**

Carlisle and Esme struted grandly onto the stage, taking bows and making little simpering laughs at the cheers. Huh? This was not their regular attitude...

A second before the song started Carlisle let down his block around his mind, and I knew what their song would be. I groaned out loud (A long, velvety groan that made every female in the vicinity sigh, of course). I would not be able to take this mushieness from those two.

_Carlisle: You're my little chu-chi face  
My coo-chi, coo-chi, woo-chi little chu-chi face  
Every time I look at you I sigh_

_Esme: And you're my little teddy bear  
My lovey lovey dovey little teddy bear  
You're the apfel strudel of mine eye_

I started to gag. I was made worse by the fact that they were singing with German accents. _CURSE YOU CARLISLE!,_ I thought. He knows I have an irrational fear of Germans!

_Esme: Your ooo-chi coo-chi ways  
Your ooo-chi coo-chi gaze  
Wilts me down like meltings butter_

OMC! They were rubbing thier noses together, and blowing kisses! IN GERMAN ACCENTS!

_Carlisle: Whatever you may ask becomes my happy task  
I only live to serve you  
Esme: I never will divine what magic made you mine  
I only know I don't deserve you_

Ugg... Carlisle was tickling Esme under her chin, and she was giggling. IN FRIGGEN GERMAN ACCENTS! I had a mini-seizure.

_Carlisle: You're my little chu-chi face  
Esme: And you're my teddy bear  
Both: Together we're a chu-chi woo-chi, ooo-chi coo-chi  
Chu-chi, Woo-chi, Ooo-chi, Coo-chi pair  
Chu-chi  
Woo-chi  
Ooo-chi  
Coo-chi pair_

I was too busy having a seizure to know how it ended, but I could here Bella making little "Aww..." noises, and the audiance was cheering loudly. I managed to sit up straight in my chair.

That was when a crazy looking girl of about thirteen (cough cough the person writing this story cough cough) ran in with a torch in her hand.

"Where is Bella?! She is so getting it! How could she think Jazzy is better than Edward?" The girl snapped her fingers in the Z-formation and said, "She-will-die!"

The pyromaniac teen started running towards Bella when Alice ran up and whispered something in her ear. The girl looked confused.

"Everyone was already here? I missed the attack? Damn! Well, I'm off to burn down Germany!" she gave me a little wink and ran off.

I turned slowly towards Bella and Alice. "What is this about you liking Jazzy better than me?" I whispered in a sad tone.

Alice just said nervously, "Heh heh, what do you mean he is my husband heh heh." I glared at her and then Bella.

"I am talking to Bella as you very well know!"

Bella gave me the Bambi eyes and said, "Crazy teenage pyromaniac girls theese days. She must have escaped from the insane assylum." (**A/N - By the way she is right, that's why I got there late**)

I could not resist the Bambi eyes. "Ok Bella I Believe you. Now lets see who's up next." (**A/N - Which makes you wonder, what else has she lied to him about? Hint hint fling with mike hint hint?**)

As Alice hopped up on the stage, I could not help but think that that girl had a certain crazy charm about her. She was actually a tad more charming than Bel- "Ow!"

**Narrators POV**

As you may have guessed, Edward insulted God (AKA Carlisle) by thinking someone was better than Bella. But Carlisle sorta agreed, and he was still mad at Bella for what we will refer to as the "Jazzy Incident", so for punishment he threw a over-ripe apple at Edward's beautiful bronze head.

**EPOV**

"Dad! Why did you throw an over-ripe apple at my head? You suck I hate you no wonder I'm emo!" I said in a whiny voice.

"Edward, the reason you are emo is because Jess dressed up in an Alice suit and gave Bella an emo makeover and so you gave in to peer pressure and became emo as well", said Carlisle in a Confucious voice.

"Good point. Bella you suck I hate you no wonder I hate you no wonder I'm emo!!" I said to Bella in an whiny voice. I needed revenge against Bella for using peer pressure against me and turning me emo. But what?

Just then revenge ran through the door. Or, more specificly, the charming-teenage-pyromaniac girl."Mision burn down Germany has worked! Edward shall live in irrational fear of Germans no more!" she yelled, and then did the happy-hop (**A/N - Alice and I go way back from her days at the assylum**).

Partly because I was happy my irrational fear was gone and partly because I loved her crazy-charm and partly because I needed revenge I went over to the crazy girl and swept her up in my arms. She looked at me and said, "Bite me."

I kissed her full on the lips. Carlisle threw another over-ripe apple at my head, but I didn't care. If I was going to kiss a crazy person, I was at least going to enjoy it! And then she shot me in the leg with a tranquilizer.

**Crazy Girl's POV (AKA me AKA Lizzy)**

Edward was mine! All mine! HUZZAH! And he willingly kissed me! DOUBLE HUZZAH!

I yelled at Alice, "Help me pull this hunk of vampire out of here!"

She was looked like she was about to say yes when the assylum goons showed up and put the pig net over my head. Darn it. My one weakness.

**EPOV**

I just realized that tranquilizer didn't hurt me and returned to conciousness when looked and saw that teenage-pyromaniac-crazy-charming-goodkisser-girl being dragged away with a net.

"Edward my love! Don't forget me! I will be back!" And then she got shot in the leg with a tranquilizer.

Alice looked at me and asked, "Why the freak did you kiss Lizzy? Now she will stalk you forever!"

I realized that Lizzy must be the crazy-girl's name. "You know her?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah we go way back from my days at the assylum. Anyways, let forget this happen and continue with the karaoke party? The audiance is getting restless."

I agreed. I set next to Bella who glared at me. I pulled her into my lap and whispered into her ear, "Bella, you know that was just for revenge. I could never love anyone who would shoot me with a tranquilizer. No matter how good a kisser and obsessed with burning things." Could I? I shook the thought off. Bella was the only one for me.

Bella gave me the Bambi eyes and kissed me on the cheek. "Ok, you vampire-man-hunk you."

I let out a sigh. All was forgiven.

**BPOV**

HA! How could he think all was forgiven? No, I was just plotting my revenge on his revenge! It was payback time!

Alice hopped onto the stage to announce the next singer. "Ok, after that rousing random scene, the next singer up is... Angela!"

I watched as Angela ran up on the stage, wearing a very Pink outfit (the singer, not the color). Wow. This wasn't her usual style. what would _she_ be singing?

REVENGE!

**_A/N - So how did you like chapter six? I thought Edward needed some revenge, and also I felt like I needed to burn something. Next stop Portugal. Review!_**


	7. Sirlion Steak and intoxicated Bella!

_**A/N - OMC, can I ever express how wonderful you people are? Yesterday I had no new reviews, today I wake up with thirty-two reviews/alerts/favorites from people for this story and my other, Everyday chaos. Thank you so much! And no, I have nothing against germans but Edward does. Long story, including Hitlar being his third grade teacher, but I won't bore you with this Author's note any longer. READ ON.**_

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight, or Pink, but I do own Edward's Kiss! MUAHAHA! (Yes I'm on a sugar rush, DON'T JUDGE ME!)_**

_Last time on KaRaOkE NiGhTmArE:_

_Edward kissed, Bella gets pissed_

**BPOV**

I watched as Angela walked confidently onto the stage in her Pink outfit. It looked really good on her, allthough this was a side of her I'd never seen before.

She walked right up to the microphone and said, "This is for Jess, Lauren, and all of you popular girls out there", with a little evil smile. I had a feeling that she had been bottling in some resentment for a while, and was about to let it out.

Open went her mouth, and out came a beautiful voice and some very amusing lyrics.

Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back  
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

I supressed a laugh. Angela was singing, looking as if revenge was being bestowed upon these people. Jess and Angela, meanwhile, along with all the other "Stupid Girls" were looking outraged, thoughsome couldn't comprehend waht she was singing about. Those ones were looking very happy and swaying with the music.

_Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back  
Porno Paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl  
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back  
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl_

_Disease's growing, it's epidemic  
I'm scared that there ain't a cure  
The world believes it and I'm going crazy  
I cannot take any more  
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in  
That will never be me  
Outcasts and girls with ambition  
That's what I wanna see  
(Come on)  
Disasters all around  
World despaired  
Your only concern  
Will it fk up my hair?_

Ben was looking admiringly at Angela, they were a great couple. You could tell they really loved each other.

People in the audiance were laughing their butts off, and the look on Laurens face was priceless.

Maybe if I act like that (maybe if I act like that), that guy will call me back (that guy will call me back)  
Porno Paparazzi girl (Porno Paparazzi girl), I don't wanna be a stupid girl (stupid girl)  
Baby if I act like that (maybe if I act like that), flipping my blond hair back (flipping my blond hair back)  
Push up my bra like that (push up my bra like that), I don't wanna be a stupid girl (stupid girl)

She ended with a little bow and a BIG grin and jumped off the stage to sit next to Ben. THey were such a great couple. Not like me and Edward lately.

What had gone wrong? I mean come on, one stray thought about how Jasper has a cute butt an- AHHH!! NOT AGAIN!

**Narrators POV**

Some of you may already know what happened after that. The crazy Pyromaniac girl ran in (cough cough me cough cough) screaming "To me!"

Then a bunch of Edward obsessed Fanfic females (cough cough you cough cough) ran out of nowhere and started shooting Bella with paintball guns. And then they egged her. And then they TPd her. And then Carlisle struck her with lightning again.

The pyro girl was about tying her to a stake about to burn her when Carlisle threw an over-ripe apple at her head.

"Ouch! What was that for?" she asked indignantly. Carlisle wiggled his finger at her.

"For one thing, I can't let you commit a murder, no matter how pretty the flames are. For another thing, you have her tied to a sirloin steak, not a wooden stake." She gave him a duh look

"Hello, who would eat a wooden steak? Hmmm? That would make no sense Carlisle! Use your noggin for once my man!"

She got hit in the head with another over-ripe apple and winced.

Carlisle said to the crowd, "Will anyone here help clean up this poor stupid human that has been tortuered? Alice?"

Alice just looked at him and shook her head. "She has been mind-hitting on Jazzy way too much lately." She clutched Jasper to herself and hissed at the semi-concious Bella. "My precious."

Carlisle looked around. "Anyone? Angela?" Angela was too ingulfed in Ben to take notice of Carlisle. "Esme?" he asked weakly, and she reluctently noded. She inwardly cursed her motherlyness.

She whisked Bella up the stairs and Carlisle said, "While we wait for that to be done, please enjoy some refreshments." He waved his hand to the super-long table filled with drinks and snacks. The crazy fanfic girls led by the Pyromaniac went to the table and started drinking alot of drinks, except for the carbonated ones. It was commen knowledge that Emmett spiked all of the carbonated drinks every thime they threw a party.

Bella came down the stairs with Esme, looking as plain as ever, and went to the refreshments table. Everyone else was gone and in the audiance by now, and so no one was there to warn her about the spiked drinks. She took some coke, with happened to have ALOT of Vodka in it.

She drank it all down in one gulp, being electrocuted really dehydrates a person. There was so much Vodka in it that she became tipsy almost immediatly.

"THis coke tastesh furney!" she giggled and hiccupped a few times and then went to sit by Edward. She miss aimed though and ended up sitting on Mike Newton, to Edward's emmense displeasure.

"Hmm edward why did you grow a uguly facesh? Never mind I still love ya babby." She planted a very passionate kiss on Mike, to Mike's emmense pleasure. Mike smiled and said in a very bad impression of Edward's voice, "I love you too honey pie"

Before the angry mob and Carlisle could start burning her, Edward charged at her and Mike screaming, "**LIES!**" at the top of his vampire-y lungs. He scooped up bella, shot Mike with a tranquilizer, and ran her to the nearest Rehab plaace. Being a vampire, he got her unintoxicated in like five seconds.

Then he went back to the party with Bella so that she would be able to see his revenge! First he grabed a member of the fanfic Edward fanclub and gave her a kiss on the mouth (cough cough Gabby cough cough). The he went to the stage and started to sing his own song to Bella. A REVENGE song!

The lyrics poured out of his perfect lips and made everyone stop what they were doing and look at him.

**EPOV**

This was payback time!

_**A/N - So, what will Edward sing? R&R to find out! BTW whoever gives the most reviews gets a revenge-ful kiss from Edward! So review my pretties! MUAHAH!**_


	8. Karaoke Singoff and Sparkly Outfits!

_**A/N - Can I express how totaly awesome you people who review are? Let me show you a conversation between me and my mom.**_

_**ME: (sniff) So very beautiful!**_

_**MOM: (looks at me as if I am a weirdo) Why are you crying while looking at you e-mails?**_

_**ME: So very many reviews... (sob)**_

_**MOM: (backs away slowly)**_

_**Anyways, thanks so much, and get ready for some more randomness!**_

_Last time on karaoke nightmare:_

_Bella gets kissed, Edward gets pissed._

**BPOV**

Edward jumped onto the stage and started singing, his voice like velvet.

_Don't cry to me.  
If you loved me,  
You would be here with me.  
You want me,  
Come find me.  
Make up your mind._

What was this supposed to mean? I was sober now wasn't I?

_Should I let you fall?  
Lose it all?  
So maybe you can remember yourself.  
Can't keep believing,  
We're only deceiving ourselves .  
And I'm sick of the lie,  
And you're too late._

OMC! He was singing in a womans voice, and it was kinda creeping me out

Don't cry to me.  
If you loved me,  
You would be here with me.  
You want me,  
Come find me.  
Make up your mind.

You never call me when you're sober.  
You only want it cause it's over,  
It's over.

How could I have burned paradise?  
How could I - you were never mine.

I was confused and insulted by his choice of song and by him kissing that girl! Oh, it was on.

This was a Karaoke-off! MUAHAHA! But first I had to do something.

I ran over to Jacob who was standing in the crowd and gave him a very deep kiss. I dodged the lightning bolts and the paintballs on my way up to the stage and started singing my OWN revenge song.

**EPOV**

I braced myself for some serious pain, and then I saw her kiss the dog! I snapped my fingers in the Z-formation. No she didn't!

Before she could start singing, I grabbed another random member of my fanclub (cough cough VampireQueenSeleneArtemisa cough cough) and gave her a very long kiss, making sure that Bella could see. When I detached from the girl, she went into seizures mumbling about catching my hair on fire, and Bella glared daggers at me, then started her song.

**BPOV**

REVENGE! I though as I began to sing.

I'd rather be at home with ray  
I ain't got seventy days  
Cause there's nothing  
There's nothing you can teach me  
That I can't learn from Mr Hathaway

I didn't get a lot in class  
But I know it don't come in a shot glass

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'  
Yes I've been black but when I come back you'll know know know  
I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine  
He's tried to make me go to rehab but I won't go go go

The man said 'why do you think you here'  
I said 'I got no idea  
I'm gonna, I'm gonna lose my baby  
so I always keep a bottle near'  
He said 'I just think your depressed,  
this me, yeah baby, and the rest'

They tried to make me go to rehab but I said 'no, no, no'  
Yes I've been black but when I come back you'll know know know  
I ain't got the time and if my daddy thinks I'm fine  
He's tried to make me go to rehab but I won't go go go

I don't ever wanna drink again  
I just ooh I just need a friend  
I'm not gonna spend ten weeks  
have everyone think I'm on the mend

It's not just my pride  
It's just 'til these tears have dried

I gave Edward an Evil smile, knowing I had made my point.

**EPOV**

Ok, that was possibly the most bizzare and pointless revenge song she could have sung towards me.

"Bella, that made no sense! You actually did go to rehab, you aren't and never had been an avid drinker, I mean, nothing in that song applies to you!"

Bella stuck her tongue out at me and said "You are just jealous because my song is way more Revenge-y than yours."

Everyone was just looking at her as if she had lost her mind, with the exception of the wolves. They were clapping and cheering like they had just seen Cher preform live in person.

Alice got up on the stage and said, "Uh-huh. Well after that mildly weird session of revenge, lets take a break from it and have our next group sing. Everyone, Jacob and the Puppy Dogs!"

Jacob ran up onto the stage with the rest of Sam's group, and they all took positions in a line.

"Jacob!" yelled Jacob, ripping off his clothes and showing that underneath was a sparkly red jumpsuit.

"And!" yelled Sam, ripping off his cloths and showing that underneath was a sparkly blue jumpsuit.

"The!" yelled Embry, ripping off his cloths and showing that underneath there was a sparkly green jumpsuit.

"Puppy!" yelled Jared, ripping off his clothes and showing that undreneath was a sparkly orange jumpsuit.

"Dogs!" yelled Paul, ripping off his cloths and showing that underneath was a sparkly pink jumpsuit.

"It's Go Time!" They all yelled together, and then strated jumping around, doing ridiculious dance moves.

_Who let the dogs out  
woof, woof, woof, woof  
woof, woof, woof, woof  
woof, woof, woof, woof  
woof, woof, woof, woof_

_Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof  
Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof_

_woof, woof, woof, woof_

_When the party was nice, the party was jumpin' Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo  
And everybody havin' a ball Hah, ho, Yippie Yi Yo  
I tell the fellas ":start the name callin':" Yippie Yi Yo  
And the girls report to the call  
The poor dog show down_

_Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof  
Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof  
Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof  
Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof_

_I see ya' little speed boat head up our coast  
She really want to skip town  
Get back scruffy, back scruffy,  
Get back u flea infested mungrel_

_woof, woof, woof, woof  
woof, woof, woof, woof  
woof, woof, woof, woof  
woof, woof, woof, woof_

_I'm gonna tell Hey, Yippie, Yi, Yo  
To any girls calling them canine Yippie, Yi, Yo  
Tell the dummy "Hey Man, It's part of the Party!" Yippie Yi, Yo  
You fetch a women in front and her mans behind Yippie, Yi, Yo  
Her bone runs out now_

_Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof  
Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof  
Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof  
Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof_

_Say, A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone  
All dogy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it  
A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone  
All dogy hold ya' bone, all doggy hold it_

_Wait for y'all my dogs, the party is on  
I gotta get my girl I got my myind on  
Do you see the rays comin' from my eye  
What could you be friend  
that Benji man that's breakin' them down?  
Me and My white short shorts  
And I can't seek a lot, any canine will do  
I'm figurin' that's why they call me faithful  
'Cause I'm the man of the land  
When they see me they do:ah-ooooo(howl)_

_Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof  
Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof  
Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof  
Who let the dogs out woof, woof, woof, woof_

Jacob and the Puppy Dogs were finaly done with their freakish woofing. Everyone looked at tem as if the had compleatly lost their minds. They all thrust out their hips, and then departed from the stage.

"Well, that was... interesting... to say the least. Next up is Aro and the Volturi singing what is sure to be a classic."

I shook my head. If Bella though this revenge thing was over, she had another thing coming.

REVENGE!

_**A/N - Ok so I know that chapter wasn't as funny but i had to do a sing-off, just to show Bella's lack of revenge talents. The next one will be better, I promise. Keep reviewing, and you might get a Kiss from Eddy!**_


	9. Mister Snuggums is number one!

_**A/N - Once more, thank you for all of the glorious reviews! I have a rare condition called reviewitis. I will die if I stop getting these uplifting reviews. So now, whenever you review, you are saving someone's life! Yay for you! I have officialy stopped making my mini-summeries rhyme. It is way too much hard work. And you know I don't have that good of an imagination!**_

**_DISCLAIMER: The only thing I own is my sense of humor, and even that I'm renting off someone!_**

_Last time on KaRaOkE ReVeNgE:_

_Jacob and the puppy dogs, Bella goes to rehab_

**EPOV**

I mentally smacked myself in the head. Why did Alice even invite Aro? We all know how much of a karaoke freak he is! The last time he went to a karaoke party, and the audiance booed him off the stage, I have only five words for that occasion. Fall of the Roman Empire.

Alice hopped on the stage. "Ok, I have been informed that they would like to be called A.V. and the Sunshine Band. Lead singer is Aro Volturi, and the Sunshine Band consists of Caius, Jane, Demetri, Heidi, and Alec. Please give a warm round of applause for A.V andthe Sunshine Band!"

Aro and his motly crew of vampires glided onto the stage, everyone except Aro looking as if they had been forced to be here. Aro however skipped up to the microphone and said, "YAY! Get ready for some mind-blowing singing! HUZZAH!"

I groaned as I read their minds, knowing what they were about to sing to. Oh my Carlisle._Caius:  
Oh, oh_

Aro:  
Aro's cool!

Caius:  
Ancient Music, yeah

Aro:  
We the best  
We takin' over  
Listen!

Jane:  
Ay, ay  
Started in Atlanta, then I spread out wit' it  
South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi  
On to North Carolina, Philadelphia and Virginia  
From down in Miami where it warm in the winter  
On up to Minnesota where it storm in the winter  
Jacksonville, Tallahassee, Memphis, Tenn. holla at me  
Me in H-Town, Southside, Cloverland daddy  
I'm the man out in Dallas, better ask Khaled  
Kept me out in Cali with my eyes open barely  
Blowin' and spinnin', goin' down Bennett  
Drop six-fo', three-wheel then switch it  
Red light stop, make it drop for the bs  
Got a glock fo'-fifth, blow your head off wit' it  
Anything you hear that I said, I meant it  
King got the crown then sped off it wit' it  
Say you need bricks, I said I get it

Caius:  
If you want to, we can supply you  
Got enough work, to feed the whole town  
They won't shoot you, unless you try to  
Come around and try to stomp on our ground  
'Cause we takin' over, one city at a time  
Said we takin' over, one city at a time  
Said we takin' over, one city at a time  
Said we takin' over, one city at a time

Demetri:  
Triple C, Black Flag  
We rich, yeah

Aro:  
Listen!

Demetri:  
Boss, it's what I does  
I get money everyday, everyday I does  
That Benz, is how I ride  
Black flag on the left, two hs and ride  
You better, move! Ak all day  
Get shot up like Shyne, that's on my neck  
I'm (B.I.G.) like Diddy  
Damn it, I'm wit' it  
Khaled we did it, Biggie of my city  
Please no fitted, fk it, I'm too pretty  
The (?) can get brain, stupid, I'm silly  
Money that come, runnin' like water  
Mami so hot, damn it, she gorgeous  
Miami on fire, you better be, cautious  
Might get shot on the porch of your fortress  
Now they see that you know I'm from Port City  
I run in 'cause Rick Ross is boss st

Caius:  
'Cause we takin' over, one city at a time  
Said we takin' over, one city at a time  
Said we takin' over, one city at a time  
Said we takin' over, one city at a time

Their takin over? Is this some sort of foreshadowing? Or just a sick joke? Because their singing made me wanna be sick.

_Heidi:  
Cribs Mania  
Khaled!  
BX, TS na_

Aro:  
Listen!

Heidi:  
Blat, when you see Crack, better duck  
like the mac gotta ease past, na what  
Shit, I don't give fk, I run these streets  
Y'all talk that st, I want that beef  
I'ma tell you like a g told me  
They'll come back quick if a na O.D  
Cash Rule Everything Around Me  
I'm YSL, Versace  
You could see me in that Porsche GT  
Comin' down Sunset, sittin' on D's  
Feelin' like 'Pac, All Eyes On Me  
Fresh bandanna and I'm blowin' mad trees  
Na please, I spit crack every verse a ki  
Some say Khaled, some say Colli  
Twelve years down and I'm finally free, crack!

Ok, their dance moves were the worst of the evning. First of all, Jane was trying to do the milkshake, Heidi was doing the lawn-mower, Demitri the robot, Caius the hula, TOG was doing something that looked like a Shakira-ish move, Alec was just thrashing around, and Aro was doing some Brittany Spears coreography.

_Caius:  
If you want to, we can supply you  
Got enough work, to feed the whole town  
They won't shoot you, unless you try to  
Come around and try to stomp on our ground  
'Cause we takin' over, one city at a time  
Said we takin' over, one city at a time  
Said we takin' over, one city at a time  
Said we takin' over, one city at a time_

Aro:  
Listen!

Alec:  
Birdman daddy, I'm number one  
Na came at me wrong so we got him done  
Fn' with the fam', I'ma give him some  
Spent that co'ner, he didn't run  
Sunday had a whole church singin' a song  
"Why'd they have to send my baby home?"  
Fn' with some na, that paper long  
Been a g in the game now my son on the throne

That other guy  
I am the beast  
Feed me rappers or feed me beats  
I am untamed, I need a leash  
I am insane, I need a shrink  
I love brain, I need a leech  
Why complain on easy streets?  
I don't even talk, I let the Visa speak  
and I like, my sprite easter pink  
And my wrist special pah but the Mula's cooler  
I have more jewels than your jeweler  
Touch and I will bust your medulla  
That's a bullethole, it is not a tumor  
Red light! Red light! Stop your rumors  
I stay on track like a box of Pumas  
Now just r-r-rock with Junior  
I am the little big Kahuna, y'dig?

Caius:  
'Cause we takin' over, one city at a time

My goodness. After hearing Heidi singing Fat Joe I think I was going to have a laughing fit. The rest of the audiance looked stunned, one of Bella's Aunts had her hands over her child's ears. One of Bella's uncles was covering his own eyes. All of the minds were disgusted, except for Jacob, his was resentful.

_**"Why didn't I think of the Brittany Spears dance moves?"**_

I gave Jazzy an urgent look, and he made everyone feel happy and excited. They all started clapping loudly, and Jacob thought, "**_Curse you and your well-planned lawn-mowing!"_**

Bella was clapping of her own accord though, and she was clapping louder for them than sh did for me and my Evenesence! This ment, REVENGE!

"Oh Bella-pie!" I called, and when she was looking, I grabbed the nearest fan (cough cough koalagirl3 cough cough) and gave her a well aimed kiss on the lips. Bella Glared at me.

"Oh Mikey-poo!" she said, and jumped into his arms. He fell over flat onto his back, the weakling. She was now sitting on Mike, who was smushed flat on the floor. This meant more revenge!

MUAHAHAHA! I left, and in a split second I was back. In my hands I held a well-worn bear. It was mister snuggums. He was the only thing I loved almost as much as Bella.

In my other hand was my list of favorite things.I looked Bella straight in the eyes and switched around her and mister snuggums names.

"Bella, you are now number two!" I yelled, and some immature children and Emmet giggled. I snuggled mister snuggums.

I ran my nose along the place where he would have a collar bone, I traced his fuzzy widdle facial features with my fingers. He was much softer than Bella, and I didn't have the urge every fiveseconds to make him into fillet minion.

Bella looked at me as if this was the last straw. She grabbed Jazzy and kissed him passionatly, when Carlisle and the groupies weren't looking of course, and then whispered something in his ear. He nodded, dazed, and went up to the stage.

"Next up is the Cullen brothers with something funk-i-fied. Lets go!" He called me up onto the stage bending my emotions so that I would want to sing with him and Emmett. I had a feeling Bella's ultimate revenge was in this song.

I braced myself.

_**A/N - So, random, right? review and you might make the list of girls who have kissed a Cullen man. If you don't want Edward (BLASTPHEMY!) than I will let you kiss one of the other two, though you may want to wait till they sing this next song to decide who you like best. (EDWARD!)**_


	10. What was up with that Weird Girl?

_**A/N - Ok, I'vee gotten a few flames lately, let me say thank you. I LOVE reviews, but I also like to know what I sould change in my stories! Thank you to Flamers and reviewers alike!! Read on!**_

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or Ciara, but I do own Mister Snuggums!_**

_Last time on Karaoke Revenge:_

_Mister Snuggums moved on up, Bella smootched Jazzy! (Rawr)_

**BPOV**

I watched as Jazzy stepped up to the mic. This was going to be the best revenge ever! REVENGE!

**EPOV**

I read Jazzy's mind, knowing what the next song would be. Damn!

Bella had broken her vow to never let anyone know about my Ciara fettish! I had watched the music video to this particular song several times, so I knew all of the dance moves.

Jazzy was infulencing my mind to do every last one of them.

_Jazzy: Ladies and gentlemen (Ladies and gentlemen)  
This is a Jazze Phizal (Jazze Phizal) productshizzle,  
Emmett (Emmett),  
The princess is here,  
(She's here) It's Edward,_

_This beat is_

_Edward: Automatic supersonic hypnotic funky fresh,  
Work my body so melodic,  
This beat flows right through my chest,  
Everybody ma and pappi came to party,  
Grab somebody, work your body, work your body,  
Let me see you 1,2 step_

Oh my Carlisle the crowd actually seemed to be enjoying the song. Could Ciara be the voice style for me?

_Rock it, don't stop it,  
Everybody get on the floor,  
Wake the party up,  
We about to get it on,  
(Let me see ya'll)  
1,2 step,  
(I love it when ya'll)  
1,2 step  
(Everybody)  
1,2 step,  
We about to get it on,  
Jazzy: This beat is_

_Outrageous so contagious make you crave it,  
Jazzy: (Jazze made it),  
Edward: So retarded, top charted,  
Ever since the day I started,  
Strut my stuff,  
And yes I flaunt it,  
Goodies make the boys jump on it  
Jazzy: (Jump on it),  
Edward: No I can't control myself,  
Now let me do my 1,2 step_

Ok, this was bizzare. People in the crowd were starting to do the 1, 2, step! And they were good. So I guess I wasn't the only one who watched that music video on youtube.

_Rock it, don't stop it,  
Everybody get on the floor,  
Wake the party up,  
We about to get it on,  
(Let me see ya'll)  
1,2 step,  
(I love it when ya'll)  
1,2 step  
(Everybody)  
1,2 step,  
We about to get it on,_

_(We goin'to step it like this. Oooohwee)_

_It don't matter to me,  
We can dance slow  
Jazzy: (Ladies and gentlemen),  
Edward: Whichever way the beats drop,  
Our bodies will go  
Jazzy: (I like this ah),  
Edward: So swing it over here,  
Mr. DJ,  
Jazzy: (Hey,Hey),  
Edward: And we will, we will rock you up  
It don't matter to me,  
We can dance slow  
Jazzy: (Dance slow yeah),  
Edward: Whichever way the beats drop,  
Our bodies will go,  
So swing it over here,  
Mr. DJ,  
Jazzy: (Ladies and gentlemen),  
Edawrd: And we will, we will rock you,  
Jazzy: Lets shake_

Here was Emmett's part. I fed him the lines in my mind, and he started to sing like Missy Elliot.

_Emmett: I shake it like jello,  
And make the boys say hello,  
Cause they know im rockin' the beat  
(Rocking the beat),  
I know you heard about a lot of great MC's,  
But they ain't got nothing on me (nothing on me),  
Because im 5 foot 2,  
I wanna dance with you,  
And im sophisticated fun,  
I eat filet mignon,  
And I'm nice and young,  
Best believe im number one  
Jazzy: (Whoa)_

EVERYONE was doing the 1,2, step! Holy crow, this was the most fun I'd had in a while!

_Edward: Rock it, don't stop it,  
Everybody get on the floor,  
Wake the party up,  
We about to get it on,  
(Let me see ya'll)  
1,2 step,  
(I love it when ya'll)  
1,2 step  
(Everybody)  
1,2 step,  
We about to get it on,  
This beat is_

_Rock it, don't stop it,  
Everybody get on the floor,  
Wake the party up,  
We about to get it on,  
(Let me see ya'll)  
1,2 step,  
(I love it when ya'll)  
1,2 step  
(Everybody)  
1,2 step,  
We about to get it on,  
This beat is_

_Emmett: This is for the hearing impaired,  
A Jazze Cullen production, (oooohweee), (oooohwee)_

The crowd was cheering and hollaring. I was taking bows with Emmet and Jasper, beaming.

Then I saw Bella. She was siting in the front row cair I had gotten for her, her head hanging low her eyes filled with tears. Immediatly my heart sank. How could we have let this whole revenge thing go this far? This was ridicules. I ran off the stage and swept her into my arms.

I gave her a long, apologetic kiss on the mouth. "I'm really sorry Bella. I lost control. Will you ever forgive me?"

"Oh Edward, it's my fault too! I should never have kissed Jazzy," Jasper was keeping _very_ far away from Bella, as though afraid that he would be attacked again. "Or That disgusting Mike Newton." Her face turned green, and she did a little throwup/burp in her mouth.

"I'm serious, he tastes like peas-porridge in the pot nine days old. I am _never _kising anyone other than you again!" I set her in the chair next to me.

"What I don't get", I said, confused, "is why that crazy girl smelled so charming. It was like overwhelming. It makes no sense."

We both looked over to the group of FanFic girls. The one we were talking about (cough cough me cough cough) was squirting on some perfume. My extra sensitive eyesight picked up the lable.

"Eu de charming. Will make the vampire-boy of you dreams fall in love with you in five days or less, or your money bacK" I read out loud.

I called 1-800-CrazyPeopleBusters, and right away an ambulance came to the house doing a raid. They caught her and put her in a straight jacket.

"Edward Cullen, I will be back for you! I don't care how comfey this huggy jacket is, I'll never forget you...(snore)" They carted her off, and I shuddered. Yuck.

But it wasn't over. Mike suantered up and stuck his tongue out at me, then turned ro Bella.

"So, Bella-kins, I was wondering" he got down on his knee and held out an open box. Insidewas a ring that looked like the kind you get for a quarteer in those machines at Wal-mart. "Will you marry me?"

Bella looked at him, bobbed her head, and said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah" in a sing-song voice.

I looked at her. "What?!" Mike whopped and started doing the Berries and Cream dance.

"Berries and cream, berries and cream, I'm a little lad who likes berries and cream!" He snepped his fingers in a Z-formation and said to me, "I told you she would be mine. So, Lolipop, when to you want to get hitched?"

Bella looked at him, and said "What? I can't hear you. Hold on a minute." She pulled some headphones out of her ears and you could hear "Yeah" blasting from them. "Sorry bout that Mike, can I help you? I just love Usher, SOOOO much!"She added.

I stuck my tongue out at Mike, and then did the berries and cream dance.

"Berries and cream, berries and cream, I'm a little lad who like berries and cream!" Bella looked at me weirdly, and I smmothed invisible wrinkles out of my shirt, embarresed.

"Sorry about that." Mike lunged for Bella, but before I could intercept, Aro grabbed his shoulder, yanking him back.

"Hey, Mike, is it? I really loved that Elliot Yamin song you seng earlier, can you sing it to me again, outside, where no-one can here you scream?"

Mike smiled and nodded "Sure! anything for a fan!"

Aro rubbed his hands together, laughing maniacly. Lightninig flashed in the background. We all looked at him weirdly, and he stopped, smoothing invisible wrinkles out of his shirt. "Come on Mike." They walked out.

Bella looked at me, worried. "Do you think he's gonna eat Mike? His eyes looked a little black." I thought, _I hope he eats that weirdo_, but to Bella I said "No, you know Aro, always the joker. Now where were we?"

I kissed Bella deeply, then broke away and whispered in her ear, "You know, Mister Snuggums is still number one." Bella just laughed and kissed me again.

How cute. She thought I was joking.

Alice leaped onto the stage once again. "Next up is... ME!" She did alot of happy-hops, then stopped and started to sing into the microphone.

_**A/N - So, was it really good, or really bad? Some of you wanted Bella back with Edward, your wish-my command. But the revenge is not over yet. Oh no. You seriously need to go onto YouTube RIGHT NOW to see the "1 2 Step" music video. Really weird mental pictue thinking of the Cullen brothers doing that. MISTER SNUGGUMS RULES! Peace.**_


	11. Franklin's untimely demise

_**A/N - What is that I hear? Someone thinks the revenge is boring? NONSENSE! If you think I should stop with the revenge, we shall take a vote. Ok? READ ON!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight, but I do own Mike's cheezy ingagement ring!**_

_Last time on KaRaOkE ReVeNgE:_

_Mike proposes, and Mister Snuggums is STILL number one!_

**EPOV**

Alice finally finished doing her happy hops, and then went to the microphone.

"This is for Jasper, my one true love!" The lights dimmed, and she stood with her head down.

And on with the music.

_You have my heart  
And we'll never be worlds apart  
May be in magazines  
But you'll still be my star  
Baby cause in the dark  
You can't see shiny cars  
And that's when you need me there  
With you I'll always share  
Because _

_When the sun shines, we'll shine together  
Told you I'll be here forever  
Said I'll always be a friend  
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end  
Now that it's raining more than ever  
Know that we'll still have each other  
You can stand under my umbrella  
You can stand under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)_

My Carlisle, irony did have a theme song. And it's name was "Umbrella". I had heard the rumors that Rihanna was a vampire, and this pretty much confirmed it.

_These fancy things, will never come in between  
You're part of my entity, here for Infinity  
When the war has took it's part  
When the world has dealt it's cards  
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart  
Because _

_When the sun shines, we'll shine together  
Told you I'll be here forever  
Said I'll always be a friend  
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end  
Now that it's raining more than ever  
Know that we'll still have each other  
You can stand under my umbrella  
You can stand under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)_

They really will shine together, I thought with a smirk.

_You can run into my arms  
It's okay don't be alarmed  
Come here to me  
There's no distance in between our love  
So go on and let the rain pour  
I'll be all you need and more  
Because _

_When the sun shines, we'll shine together  
Told you I'll be here forever  
Said I'll always be a friend  
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end  
Now that it's raining more than ever  
Know that we'll still have each other  
You can stand under my umbrella  
You can stand under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh)  
Under my umbrella  
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)_

You could say that part about the rain again. Which is exactly what she did.

_It's raining  
Ooh baby it's raining  
Baby come here to me  
Come here to me  
It's raining  
Oh baby it's raining_

Of course she had done all of the original dance moves, so most of the guys in the audiance were drooling. Jasper swept her off her feet (literaly) and gave her a firm kiss on the mouth, claiming his property.

I clapped as loud as everyone, she had done a marvoules preformance. It was so wonderful for them.

I could see Rosealie slap Emmett's arm. "Why didn't you think of that? We did a very degrading song!" Emmett swept Rose in his arms, and kissed her firmly on the mouth.

She just punched him in the arm and demanded to be put down. I supressed a laugh.

I looked at my watch. It was 1:00 A.M.! Alice apparently noticed the lateness of the hour as well, she went to the microphone once again.

"Everyone, it's time to turn in, but don't worry, the festivities continue tomorrow!" Everyone cheered, and filed out of the house.

Instead of revving engins, we just heard alot of noise out side. Esme looked at me.

"They're probably just conversing about how great the first part of the party was" said a nervous Jasper.

Esme screamed, "Franklin!" and ran out the door.

Bella wiggled her eyebrows at me. "Who the fute is Franklin?" I shrugged, and we all ran out of the house.

Out on the lawn were thousands of tents. Carlisle looked nervously at his fuming wife.

"W-well, you see d-dear..." began Carlisle, but Esme flung herself onto her lawn and burst into tears.

"Franklin, I knew you well. What pain you must be going through!" SHe was writhing on the ground and I said to Bella, "Welp, I guess Franklin was her perfect lawn. Someone's sleeping on the couch tonight!"

I looked at Carlisle and wiggled my eyebrows at him. He mumbled something about trying to help out the guests and went inside to grab his things.

Bella looked at me with her Bambi eyes. "Can I stay here tonight Eddi-lumpkins?"

I made a face and said, "As long as you don't ever call me Eddi-lumpkins ever again!"

She smiled her wicked smile and flounced into the house. Hmm. I had never seen her flounce before. I had Mister snuggums in my hand

"Don't worry my love. You will not lose your rightful place on the bed. Bella's sleeping on the couch in my room."

I nuzzled his fuzzy widdle head and flounced towards the house.

And yes, I do flounce.

_**A/N - So this is a short one, but only because I am waiting for your votes. Review like the wind, my pretties!**_


	12. Author's Note

_**Author's Note**_

Oh my Carlisle, can I apologize enough for my lack of writing? I AM SO FREAKIN' SORRY!!!!!!!!

See, there was a surprise roadtrip to Virginia. What do I have to say about it?

Well, I want you all to get a bus ticket to Hungry Mother State Park, Marion VA. Stay there for about a day. If you haven't fallen in love with it by then, you are even more crazy than I am!!!

Any-hoo, I will write a chapter tonight and also one tomorrow, in apology. Forgive me if they suck, and feel free to flame.

If anyone wants to talk about how much they hate Jacob Black now that they read Eclipse, or any other matter's in the book, PM me!

Forever insane,

Awsea-mazin-licious


	13. Randomness Lovers Unite!

**_A/N - OK, the long awaited chappie twelve. Read like the wind! Or as my sister pointed out, the wind can't read, so read better than the wind!! This took longer to come out, cuz I had the doc saved, and when I went back to work on it some more, IT WAS ERASED!!  
_**

**_Disclaimer: GOD! Will you please stop nagging me!? I don't own it alright! (sob) (sniffle). Kick me while I'm down why don't ya?_**

_Last time on KaRaOkE ReVeNgE:_

_Franklin dies, Esme once more cries_

**EPOV**

As I watched my Bella sleep, I remembered the previous night. It had been spent in three main parts.

_1. Keeping the remaining vampires that weren't "vegitarians" from eating the party-goers._

_2. Keeping Esme from commiting a mass-murder on the party-goers_

_3. Keeping Tanya from smackin' my ass._

I shuddered. All in all, a pretty traumatic night for the Cullen household. But now the sun was peeking over the storm clouds, and it was time to get ready for another music-filled day. I shuddered again.

I really looked at Bella now, taking in all of her morning-glory.

Her hair was a tangled mass that resembled a cheap wig.

She was crumpled up in a fetal position, moaning my name at regular intervals.

There was a dribble of drool slipping out of the corner of her mouth.

I sighed. She was the very picture of perfection. Second only to Mister Snuggums.

I ruffled her messy hair. "Time to wake up sleeping beauty", I whispered in her ear.

"Edwa...?" she mumbled, blinking sleep out of her eyes. I laughed silently to myself as she sat up straight.

"Human moment." she muttered, wandering out of my bedroom.

A second later a strangled yelp emitted from the hallway. "Help me!!" screamed a very Bella-like voice.

In the blink of an eye I was in the hallway, waiting to catch a no-doubt tripped up Bella. But instead I found Alice with Bella slung over her shoulder, loping off to the place she liked to call her "Happy-Corner". The rest of the household liked to call it her "Evil-Bathroom-of-Doom-Resembling-a-Beauty-Salon-in-which-she-Expierements-on-us-All".

I shuddered for the third time in the span of five minutes. My skin still had an orange tinge from her idea to make us all look more human like. Two words. _Complete Failure_! Now every time I see David Hasslehoff, Hannah Montana, or Ashley Tisdale, I weep. (**_Bit of an inside joke, PM me if you are confused_**).

I decided against being Bella's night in shining armor this time, for everyone's sake. Instead I headed for the kitchen.

On my way down the stairs, I heard the thoughts of the rest of the fam. They were all primping themselves for the second day of Karaoke "fun".

I yanked open the refrigerator door and peered inside.

There was half a gallon of milk, two eggs, a pound of bacon, and part of a bologna sandwich. We had to have people-food for when Bella stayed over, she cooked like a mad-woman. In the side-door shelf was an array of what seemed to be bottles of red wine.

We had them labeled in french in case some unwary human broke into the house for a food raid. I pulled out a half-drunk bottle of _sang de lion. _Lion blood. My favorite.

I downed all of the contents in one gulp and winced. It didn't taste nearly as good as fresh-kill, but if it kept me from eating my soon-to-be-wife, I could deal.

I then tossed the empty bottle in the thrash can that was like ten feet away. Being a male, I had to do the thing all guys do when they score.

"Swish! Oh yeah bay-bay! Nuthin' but net!" Being a wonderfully fabuless vampire, I decided to add a little exta spice. I did the dance moves to "bet on it" from _High School Musical 2 _in a vampire-quick flash. I sort of had a tiny man-crush on Zac Effron. His eyes are like clear pools of blue!

Right as I finished, I spun around, coming nose-to-nose with Emmetts video camera. He ran out of the room cackeling like a mad-man. Correction, cackeling like himself. CURSE YOU ALICE! I screamed in my head.

No one heard me, which wasn't surprising.

Alice, Jasper, Emmet Esme Carlisle, and a very beautiful-looking Bella all walked down the stairs, laughing merrily. I glared at them

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, are you glaring at your mother?" asked a suddenly sharp voice.

"No dad", I mumbled, quickly shifting my glaring eyes to my feet.

"What the fuck is your problem?", yelled my feet simeltainiously (**_don't you love my spelling?_**). Everyone went quiet and stared at each other for a moment.

"You thinkin what I'm thinkin?" asked Carlisle. It was a pretty dumb queztion, because HELLO I read minds, but I answered anyways.

"Never mention this again and pretend it never happened?" I said in reply.

"Pretend what never happened?" asked Jasper with shiftey eyes.

"That's m'boy!" said Carlisle, patting his second best looking son on the back.

I glared jealously at the two. I thout I was Carlisle's m'boy!

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, are you glaring at your father?" said a sharp voiced Esme.

"No mom." I mumbled, shifting my jealous-glare to the carpet.

"What ze hell are you loking at, misure?" the carpet asked in a french accent.

Alice smiled sheepishly. "Imported from Paris."

I smacked myself in the head -gently of course, as to not damage the sexyness of me- and yelled "Why the hizzle do we have talking carpets and feet?!?!?!"

Esme shrugged and said, "Ask your father, he is God you know." Everyone mumbled their agreementand bobed their heads.

Carlisle struck an imposing pose and replyed in an impressive voice, "Ask and thou shalt recieve!" He handed me a bag of chips Ahoy cookies.

"Um yeah I didn't ask for a half-eaten bag of expired coo-" Esme glared at me and thought _"Eat the damn cookies"_, to which I readily complied, shoving a few cookies into my sexy mouth.

I gaged and talked through a mouthful of what to humans is chocolately-chipy goodness, spraying everyone with crumbs "Delifos!"

Carlisle noded impressively and pointed toward the front door. "Come ye in-eth!" A crowd of party-goers streamed into the house.

Alice hopped up and down and a guy yelled at her, "What are you, a freakin' kangaroo?" (_**inside joke again**_)

Alice kangaroo-hopped onto the stage and yelled at the crowd. "Are you ready to party!!!??? Up now are Lauren and Jessica, singing..."

_

* * *

A/N - You like? Yes, totaly random and interjecting, but hey, I was feeling random (when am I not?). Review, if you're still reading this!_


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